"Painting is the art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic."
"Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course."
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad."
"If it sells, it's art."
"Salvador Dali seduced many ladies, particularly American ladies, but these seductions usually consisted of stripping them naked in his apartment, frying a couple of eggs, putting them on the woman's shoulders and, without a word, showing them the door."
"The art galleries of Paris contain the finest collection of frames I ever saw."